I've seen people post an entry that would permanently stay at the top to give "rules" on friending for livejournal. I thought I could try it. This LJ if semi-friends only.

( Here are the details. )

Current layout by Minty_Peach. I took the original header and edited it with part of one of my favorite poem stanzas.

I don't know whether to love them or intensely dislike them.

Damn 山P and his damn catchy "Loveless" mini album. I like ALL the songs on it. Obviously some more than others but the point is that I like all of them. And I can listen to them on repeat. I can't do that with all songs even if I like them.

It doesn't help that a lot of songs on 2PM's "1:59PM" album are also catchy.

They're all conspiring against me, I know it. It's a ploy to get the money I don't have >_<

Smart bastards.

Rewatched Labyrinth today.

It was epic.

End of story.

p.s. I learned in a class that supposedly in the way far away future there will be less days in a year and each day will be 26 hours. Is it bad that I immediately thought of this movie when I heard that? 13 hours clocks...Henson can now predict the future.

that I have less and less things to write about.

It's funny that I used that phrasing as well because I'm not "finding" anything, I've been losing things, actually.

I started with my wireless computer mouse for my laptop. Last Saturday, I got back from class and for some reason it wasn't there. I searched pretty much all over (I say pretty much because if I had searched everywhere, I obviously would have found it by now) but I can't find it. I reorganized bits of my room and shuffled furniture around and still no luck.

And then the next two days, I kept losing Japanese workbooks sheets. I think I'm cursed or something. I have no idea where everything's going. There's no trace of them at all. Something weird is going on. It's a mystery to me.

Midterms are coming up, so I may have a long absence again, but I figured maybe this disappearance phenomenon is happening to give me something to write about. And that's the closest thing to positive that I'll be able to say about it.

I just told my friend something today that makes total sense to me. I need to study for my first Japanese chapter test of the semester, but I decided writing an entry would be good to get some stuff out there.

All of my friends are artistic except me. They draw and make wonderful artwork which I'm lucky enough to get from them once and a while. Miyu told me that her art is her cruise zone, it saves her from insanity. Might I mention that a lot of my friends also write. That's something I have in common with them at least. I think in a way they all use it to keep themselves sane. I figured out that since I don't have that gift, writing is probably my closest way of balancing myself out in the insanities.

And I haven't written in a while. A long while. No wonder I'm going crazy. Of course that's probably not the only reason, but it's probable that it adds to the whole thing.

I also realize there are many limitations to my writing that make it difficult to pursue it in any long-term light...although long-term is not the word I'm really looking for. Concrete, maybe? Anyways, you either get what I'm saying or you don't. And if you don't, don't worry about it. My thoughts aren't very articulate when it comes to things like this.

I just changed my desktop picture. Changing my desktop to a bright color-themed picture from a dark color one is kind of hurting my eyes. The screen is bright enough without thinking about going from a black/grey coloring to a white/light colored one. But that's what I did. As much as I like the change, I'm tempted to change back just to spare my eyes. But I won't because I'm lazy like that.

Right, study. I need to go now if I don't want to completely die on that Japanese test. Good night, my dears ^_^

Do you suppose I should start taking pictures of things?

Maybe I could make more interesting blogs if I actually tried that. Never been much of a photographer (my sister, she knows. Ask her how hesitant she is to ask me to take a picture for her), but then what's the point of having a camera if I don't use it?

...and the same can totally go for my room. Why do I even own so much stuff? Honestly. I tried weeding out my dolls too (I'm not kidding, those things take up WAY too much space). Nothing works. And I take so long and want to do such a thorough job that I get tired 2-3 hours in and end up shoving everything back.

Tomorrow I have 2 extra work shifts. I'm going to meet students from a university in Japan. Should be exciting. I've been stoked about it ever since I knew I got the shifts a week ago. Tomorrow's going to be crazy though. Everything 10 minutes apart...I hope I don't die before I get the chance to meet the people. That would be so tragic. And yet very possible. I'm going to shut up about it now and stop jinxing myself.

I just spent virtually the whole day watching アタシんちの男子. Ah, wonderful drama. Great way to spend the weekend. I can pretend until...oh, well, today, that I won't have to do homework. It'll wait till later though. I really shouldn't stay up until 1:30 in the morning, but oh well...Anyway, I could pretend for a while that watching dramas is all my life consisted of for a good portion of the day. My eyes are sore and so is my butt and back from sitting and staring at the computer screen too long but I don't care. I feel great. Mostly.

Kaname Jun has never been a heartthrob hotty for me but I like him in dramas most of the time. I can't help but see the Kamen Rider character when I see Yamamoto Yusuke and he's nto exactly an ikemen for me, but his characters always amuse me, so I like him. Seto Koji's hair was great in this, I liked him a lot in this drama. If not for Mukai Osamu, he would've been my favorite. And might I mention that Mukai looked way better in this than in メイちゃんの執事. Looks like I'll have to look around for 任侠ヘルパー and ブザー・ビート.

That is, when I have time again. Things to look forward to, but hopefully not distract...

I have to admit though, with all the time those men spend in the sauna, I'm still not over my half-naked men phobia.

are not exactly the best thing in the world, but I suppose it'll turn out alright. The TA seems nice enough and it doesn't feel like it'll be too hard.

My friend and I are taking the lab together. Today we went to the mall afterward. By chance, in the Japanese store we always visit, we hit gold today. There were six NEWS singles, the most recent six skipping 「恋のABO」. We were disappointed that one wasn't there, but we got all the other ones except 「サヤエンドウ/裸足のシンデレラボーイ」 (hey, I'm not rich, I had to sacrifice one single and I chose that one because I only like 「サヤエンドウ」 on both versions). Since the Limited and Regular editions were both provided, we tried to decide between us who got which. So between the two of us, we have both the Limited and Regular editions for 「星をめざして」, 「Weeeek」, 「太陽のナミダ」, 「Summer Time」, and 「Happy Birthday」.

God, I'm so poor. But I feel great.,

I have so many worries right now, but I'm temporarily forgetting about them for the time being and basking in my singles. I think the cash register lady must notice how often we come by now. There was only one copy of each version of the single, so we totally wiped them out. Sorry other NEWS fans, the psychotic pair of us took it all.

A few minutes ago, by chance, I found out that Crystal Kay and Jin have another collab song called 「Helpless Night」. I thought it was worth a listen since I liked 「WONDER」 so much. It's a good song. I still prefer　「WONDER」, but that song was pretty good too. It could grow on me. I'm happy for Jin that he gets t do this type of dream collaboration.

As a final note, watching カートゥンKAT-TUN episodes before I go to sleep gives me great dreams. Weird and not making much sense, but great.

My friends' cell phones were being buttheads and I couldn't get in touch with them so I had to sit by myself in a very unhappy state for 20 minutes. I won't get into the details of it. I asked one friend to make me feel better so I wouldn't be angry over stupid things. She has a laptop she brings with her and tried to show me all these funny things, but it wasn't working.

I guess all the obsessing really sticks in everyone's heads even if they don't want it there, because then she typed in "Jin Akanishi" on Google images. I really didn't think the ploy would work, but somehow it did.

Look what my life boils down to.

p.s. I realized something else. Going through pictures under a certain name, it's really shocking how many images come up under Jin that aren't actually him. I get that when I search for pictures of other people too. It confuses me. If people are uploading pictures, how do they not know whose pictures they're uploading? Just a thought.

school started today. It was somewhat eventful, I guess. As eventful as first days can be, in any case.

The other classes sound fairly typical of what I was expecting from them, but Japanese sounds like it'll be challenging. Not necessarily badly, but it'll be hard for me. The professor said that he's different from other teachers because he focuses a bit more on speaking and my brain yelled "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!". I am fairly good at writing and reading (excluding all the kanji I just forgot...) but speaking is like my worst nightmare. I suck at it. But considering I want to at least minor in Japanese, I think I need the challenge. Last semester, the teacher focused on being courteous and this semester, so I guess it's a good balance to work on communicating in Japanese no matter what. Only 10-15 minutes in the beginning of class will be in English and the rest of the time will be in Japanese. My head, I feel the pain already.

As for everything else, I guess it's exactly how I expected going back to school would be like.

seeing Jin in Cartoon KAT-TUN always makes me want to go to the gym and exercise. You would think that would make more sense if it were Ueda, but it only works with Jin.

And by the way, I am SO behind in that show. I wanted to catch up starting today, but I don't know where to get subbed versions so I'm stuck still being on...episode 76 (meaning I didn't watch that episode yet, even). Sad, I know. I can't believe how much I've missed by now...

that my friend introduced me to today.

I believe the first I ran into originally on Cartoon KAT-TUN.

http://maker.usoko.net/nounai/

I would paste my result but it has my name. Miyu told me what it means for the most part, but I'm too uncertain and lazy to paste it.

The second I thought would be really funny for people in the Johnny's fandom.

http://www.americanwota.com/wota-distractions/johnnys-ranker/

Any guesses to who #1 was? I wasn't surprised at all. Actually, the top 3 didn't surprise me at all. If anyone's curious about my whole ranking, I could name all 55, but I doubt you'd be THAT curious. And since most of it was based on pictures, some people placed lower or higher than they originally might have because I either really liked or didn't like a picture.

Okay, I'm done now.

Reading Kon's journal entries make me feel like being a camera whore.

And then I realize I have no idea how to do that.

And I misplaced my camera. And the only pictures even on that camera are of my dogs.

Very bad pictures too, since I haven't an ounce of photography skill in my body.

Oh well.

My mini personal project isn't progressing right now.

School starts next Monday.

I could wait for it to start. I could wait a long time, if they gave me the chance.

Unfortunately, I have to return to the real world at some point. It's too early to say farewell to summer, or at least I can't bring myself to do it prematurely.

This weekend, my iPod speakers finally work correctly. I don't know what made this phenomenon occur, but I'm tempted to never take my iPod out of the speakers in fear that it'll never work correctly again if I change the position of it. But then I wouldn't have an iPod when I go out anymore and for the long bus rides and tranfers. That would be tragic.

I guess I should just get another one. That one can stay there permanently until it breaks. But I'm not made of money so that won't happen. I can only consder getting a new one when this one breaks. And I suppose I'll have to take it out eventually. It can be charged in the speakers, but it can't get new songs unless it gets plugged into the computer. The again, since I'm practically out of space, there's nothing more I can really put on it...

I don't believe I dedicated a whole entry to my iPod and iPod speakers. Oh the horrors of the shallow things my life focuses around.

I had a strange dream last night/this morning but I didn't think to write it down so I believe most of it was lost. And that is the pain of being lazy.

or obviously I wouldn't be writing another entry today.

I already wrote about my dogs being magical poopers, but the boy dog just burped. Really loudly. It sounded like a man burp. It was the funniest thing ever. Much improved from the watery-sounding farts he tends to produce.

I just had to share that. Don't mind me. You can go on with your normal lives now and take a break from my usual insanities.

rain and cold, but it's rainy and damn humid. Oh my goodness, this weather is horrible. On the plus side, with all this rain, I was getting worried because I'd temporarily lost my umbrella, but all is well. I found it this morning. Good thing too. By how much rain it collected today, I would have gotten fairly damp at least from all the rain.

Speaking of the weather, one of the girls I talked to today at work told me that she likes the rain but she doesn't like getting wet and she also likes reading. So when she's home, she likes to go to her car and read in there. Considering I also like hearing and seeing the rain like you do in a car (plus the reading bit is kind of obvious), if I ever get a car, this is one of the first things I want to do. Assuming it's actually a book I'm reading. If not, I'll be forced to print online stories and read them like that.

I had a nightmare last night that involved a serial killer and for some reason I was multiple victims. That wasn't really pleasant. When I have pure nightmares where all I can feel is the panic and fear, I can wake up if I will myself enough. But when I have nightmares like that, where it's very developed, I can't wake up from them. It's kind of scary, actually, that the more detailed the nightmare, the harder it is to wake up.

that I spent one day for a few hours going through my whole journal and organizing it better so more entries were public. It's hard to try and make friends in fandoms when if people stumble across your username, they go to the journal and virtually nothing is on it. I still have some more personal entries that are under "friends only" but almost everything is public now.

I'm wondering if it's a good or bad thing, but I'm trying to give up caring. Because caring again would probably mean re-evaluation and me spending hours undoing my work and making everything private again. I'm telling you guys, when you only have the free account, when you want to do things like that, it's a huge pain. But we'll not go into that.

This is going to sound really ambiguous, but I feel like I'm progressing slowly in one area and quickly regressing in virtually everything else. I've heard the theory that personalities of people don't change but their maturity does, but I being to wonder because lately I've been feeling like a different person. The essentials of what makes me who I am are still there, but there are distinctive differences. And I wonder if they're good or bad. Somehow, I get the disturbing feeling that it's kind of bad.

took the dogs for a walk and went swimming today. I finally found out where the pool is located. Haha. Sad, I know. It took me how long to figure it out...? I don't even want to consider that.

I'm in the process of converting one of my friends into the more abstract things I'm into. I wonder if it'll succeed. If not, she at least helped me release some of my obsessive energy. All I gotta say is with me and the way I like things, it's impossible not to obsess to or with someone without going crazy. Unfortunately, a lot of my interests have been diverting from that of friends I know personally (not from the Internet) and possibly some others (that are from the Internet). So she became my outlet. I don't want to take advantage of her, though. So if she doesn't get into anything, it's back to square one.

I'm sorry I haven't found as much motivation to come on. It's not that I stopped loving everyone on here that I talk to, it's just it hasn't...felt right, I guess you could say. There are posting days and there are blah days. I just seem to be floating in a continuous stream of blah days in a row. I'll get over it sometime. I think. I hope.

How's everyone else doing? Feel free to drop me a line or two to let me know.